Archive for July 2007
A Review of “The Simpsons Movie”
Super Size This!, 31 July 2007
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost twenty years since “The Simpsons” first entered our homes. Over the years we’ve seen the emergence of cartoons more scathingly satirical (“South Park”) and more randomly ridiculous (“Family Guy”), but “The Simpsons” has always kept chugging along. While it’s been well past its prime for almost a decade now (oh, how we miss the Conan O’Brien years), Matt Groening and his team have decided to fire on all cylinders for the first foray onto the big screen. Staying true to its form and not trying anything too daring, “The Simpsons Movie” is essentially a super-sized 90 minute episode.
The plot of this film is a rehash of the standard “Homer does something completely idiotic and selfish and gets all of Springfield in trouble and makes Marge hopping mad.” There’s plenty of homages to some of the past great episodes (Jumping Springfield Gorge, Bart Becomes a Flanders), and all the characters are doing their classic shtick. Chief Wiggum almost shooting himself while eating free donuts that have been stacked on the barrel of his gun is especially funny. Most of the hearty laughs are found in the peripherals. “The Simpsons” has never been accused of being subtle–witness here a literal visual depiction of Homer being stuck between “a rock and hard place.” Always gently poking fun at religion (the stuff with Grandpa in church is priceless), politics (here we see Arnold as President), lampooning pop culture (Homer playing “Grand Theft Walrus” in Alaska is a joke about five years too late but still laugh-out-loud funny), and most successfully taking sharp jabs at itself and its corporate sponsors, the film delivers plenty of sight gags and one-liners to please even the most casual of fans.
As the “Comic Book Guy” might point out, this isn’t exactly “The Greatest Episode Ever,” but it packs in more chuckles per minute than anything I’ve seen on the big or small screen this year.
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database:
A Review of Werner Herzog’s “Rescue Dawn”
One Flew over the Bamboo Hut, 16 July 2007
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
For me, Werner Herzog will always be remembered for his haunting 1979 remake of “Nosferatu.” Next to the silent-era original, it’s probably the greatest artistic statement ever put to film on the myth of the vampire. Apart from that, he’s been one of those fascinatingly enigmatic European infant-terrible directors, brazenly going against the studio system and doing whatever he damn well pleases, be it documentaries or bizarre art films. “Rescue Dawn” comes as a huge surprise, and proving that he still does whatever he pleases, is a dramatized version of the true story of Vietnam POW Dieter Dengler that Herzog previously filmed as a documentary in 1997 entitled “Little Dieter Needs to Fly.” Masterfully realized, “Rescue Dawn” emerges as Herzog’s most accessible film. After over 30 years of film-making, he’s gone “Hollywood” but has done it on his own terms.
“Rescue Dawn” features classical and feverishly transcendent direction from Herzog, breathtaking cinematography of Laos and Vietnam from Peter Zeitlinger, a triumphant and evocative music score from Klaus Bedelt, and Oscar-worthy performances from an amazing cast. In the lead role of Dieter, Christian Bale once again puts his whole body into the character (as he did in “The Machinist”). Bale has become one of those rare actors whose every role seems to be the performance of his career. Also noteworthy are Jeremy Davies (“Saving Private Ryan,” and “Ravenous”) as Eugene from Eugene, Oregon, who seems to always get cast as the most emotionally unstable soldier, and a shockingly good and sympathetic Steve Zahn as Duane. Herzog puts the cast through the ringer in artistically rendered depictions of torture, horror, and survival in the harshest of conditions. Even in some of the most cringe-worthy scenes, Herzog turns what could’ve been wallowing on its head–witness the fantastic transition from Bale eating live worms and one crawling in his beard to a beautiful caterpillar leisurely making its way across a leaf in the peaceful jungle.
Essentially what we have here is the war-movie version of Milos Foreman’s “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest” as Herzog depicts a group of average men who were slightly crazy already becoming increasingly more mad through involuntary imprisonment. While Bale’s character refuses to be held down and is constantly trying to keep his brain and skills sharp through plotting an escape, some of his fellow prisoners are rendered hopeless as they have turned their own minds into the most impenetrable walls. Herzog does a great job of depicting tiny bits of humanity and dignity shining through in the most inhumane conditions, and how the will to survive can triumph over death. He’s somehow crafted a movie that is both boldly anti-establishment and unapologetically pro-soldier and patriotism. Being based on a true story where the ending is known to the viewer doesn’t take away from the white-knuckle suspense and human drama. Unlike Foreman’s classic from the 1970’s, where Jack Nicholson (mirrored here by Bale) flew over the cuckoo’s nest and disappeared into his own insanity, Herzog gives up hope. One flew over the bamboo hut…and he made it.
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database
Dining Out in Philadelphia and South Jersey
**This post is frequently being updated with new entries and hot spots as they are discovered. Scroll down and look for the ** to find the latest updates.
This post was last updated on 1-25-09.
The current featured entry, Ariana, appears in blue.
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GREAT PHILADELPHIA RESTAURANTS:
A struggling novelist need not be a starving writer. We all have to eat. Apart from the history and culture, my favorite thing about Philadelphia is the world renowned and ever-changing sea of fine restaurants. Philly is far more than just Geno’s Steaks.
Fogo De Chao is an authentic Brazilian steak house located in the heart of Center City near City Hall. Food here is served gaucho style, where for a fixed price ($50) you can sample a mind blowing buffet of fresh vegetables and salads, a never-ending orgiastic parade of 15 styles of delectable meats, and an eternal supply of savory side dishes. The atmosphere is upscale contemporary, and this restaurant features a beautiful interior dining area full of dark, rich colors and some of the best mood lighting I’ve ever experienced. The service is impeccable, as all the meats are carved table-side, and they keep it coming until you turn over you colored disk to indicate you need a break from the gluttonous feast. The food is amazing, and the management and chefs assure every detail is fixed to your liking. I’m not a huge meat eater, and I ate enough meat that night to turn me into a vegetarian again. Be sure to bring a credit card as the bill can easily climb when you add drinks and desserts. This is a once-in-a-blue-moon type dining experience where you have to physically and psychologically prepare for the onslaught of food. You’ll never forget it, but you might be too full to ever return. Highly recommended for a unique event–equally great for big groups or a big date, though I wouldn’t recommend it on a first date. Reservations are recommended but not required. Valet parking available. Safe lots are located nearby for a few dollars less than what the valet service charges. For more, visit: http://www.fogodechao.com/locations/Philadelphia.htm
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Cuba Libre: Enticing Cuban-American style dishes are served here with a nice balance of tropical citrus flavors along with lots of garlic, onion, pepper, and olive infused marinades. Their fantastic Mojito bar features plenty of flavorful and refreshing beverages, though they don’t make the drinks as strong as I typically like them. Entrees range from $20-30, with the drinks going from $8-12. This is the type of place where you can make a go of it with just appetizers and beverages. Especially good are the free fried bread and mango butter they serve at every table and the sweetened Cuban espresso as a nightcap. The decor is a relaxing mix of muted tropical colors, nicely tiled floors, and Cuban eccentricities–note the stain-glass window design on the back wall. What really makes this place fun, though, is the small wrought-iron dining patio on the first floor that puts you right out onto 2nd street for some world-class people watching. Located in an eclectic Old City neighborhood, the restaurant sits alongside rundown storefronts speckled with other trendy dining options, galleries, shops and an overload of parking lots and garages. Every type of Bohemian can be spotted along the sidewalks strolling side-by-side with families and varied city visitors. Valet parking is available but probably only necessary on busy evenings. Reservations are recommended but not required. For more, visit: http://cubalibrerestaurant.com/philly_index.php
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Zorba’s Tavern: This is a wonderful little cafe-style “hole-in-the-wall” located on Fairmount Avenue across from the Eastern State Penitentiary. Here you will find irascible Greeks serving authentic Greek food at reasonable prices. The bill can add up fast as everything is ala-carte. I highly recommend the Melitzanna (an appetizer of roasted eggplant, chopped peppers, and garlic with olive oil and feta cheese) and the Greek coffee for after dinner. The smells are intoxicating, and the small restaurant has indoor and street dining designed to give you the feel of a classic Mediterranean cafe. Word to the wise: they will not give you your check until you ask for it. Also be sure to check their hours, as they are not always open. Zorba’s is a casual place to return to again and again and makes for a great choice after a visit to the nearby Philadelphia Museum of Art. A cheap, safe parking lot is located right across the street. Reservations not needed, though call ahead for a big party as the space is very limited. BYOB. For more, visit: http://www.zorbastavern.com/
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City Tavern: For the authentic Philly dining experience, nothing beats the City Tavern located on 138 S. 2nd Street in Old City (close to the original Ritz movie theaters). Here, in a beautifully restored colonial building (that dates back to the 1700’s as a tavern and hotel), the staff dress up in authentic 18th century costumes, and the dinner menu is full of 18th century culinary cuisine–expect to find venison and rabbit options along with standard steak, chicken, and duck fare. It’s a totally transporting dining experience and one of my favorite restaurants of all time. World-class service from a highly trained staff, a beautiful and historic setting, and hearty food prepared by gourmet cooks (lead by world famous chef Walter Staib), City Tavern is in a class by itself. People travel from all over the world to visit this location. Prices are reasonable (most dinner entrees range from $15-30) and the menu features a great wine selection and dessert menu. The chocolate mousse cake made from a real recipe of Martha Washington’s is a perfect finish. Reservations are recommended but not necessary. Various parking garages and lots are located throughout the area, as well as street parking if you are lucky. If the weather is nice, don’t be afraid to park along Dock Street and do a little walking before the meal. For more, visit: http://www.citytavern.com
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**(Added March 2008 ) Amada: Located on Chestnut Street between 2nd and 3rd, this Spanish eatery has become one of the hottest spots in Philly to dine. We’ve missed out on eating there the past two Philly Restaurant Weeks due to overbooking, and our reservations for a humdrum Sunday evening in March had to be made more than a month in advance. Places in the city become this popular either because they are obnoxiously trendy or have great food. Lucky for Philly, Amada offers both, and it does trendy and great food in a subdued classy style. Of special notice are the off-white heavy curtain one has to pass through to get to the hostess station, the large well lit but relaxed bar area, the long and narrow candlelit hardwood floored hallway leading to the rest rooms, the “stage” table in the main dining area, and the two large picnic style tables by the windows that sit on a floor covered in small stones. We had the pleasure to sit in this alarmingly unique area that offers a great view of the street and begs patrons to take some of the stones home. The bar features drinks curiously named after Pedro Almodovar films. I found the ginger bourbon concoction (the Matador) to be especially strong and crisp, just how I like my beverages. The menu offers a vast array of tapas style plates with a plentiful selection of cheeses, appetizers, salads, meats, and seafood. Tapas must translate to “midget plate” as the portions were clearly designed for our smaller brethren. This is one of those places where the food is best shared, so if you aren’t into trying things you wouldn’t normally try and sampling your companions’ dishes, then this might not be the place for you. The servings are very small, but pack a wallop in flavor. After dinner, the desserts are equally exciting and sharable. I highly suggest one of their excellent Ports as a nightcap. Service is about as good as you should expect from such a popular hot spot, meaning they are attentive and helpful, but you might have to flag them down for the check. Reservations are a must, and valet parking is available, though I recommend rounding the corner on 2nd St. and parking in the Ritz East garage. For more, visit: http://www.amadarestaurant.com/
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**(Added January 2008 ) Bistro Romano: Located on 120 Lombard Street in Society Hill, this Philly eatery offers generous portions served in a comfortable and romantic atmosphere situated in a swank neighborhood. Don’t be alarmed by the gunshots you might hear on the way out, that’s just the lively mystery dinner theater upstairs. There’s also a cozy piano bar on the main floor of this three-story establishment. Abbott’s Square Garage two blocks up on Lombard Street makes for great nearby parking and puts you close to the other bars and establishments in the neighborhood. For more, visit: http://www.bistroromano.com/
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Other Points of Interest in Center City:
The Mexican Post: This Mexican cantina located in Old City on 104 Chestnut Street features decent food at cheap prices, killer margaritas, and nightly drink specials. The Post makes for a relatively low-key hang-out, but watch out on the perilous narrow stairwell leading down to the basement level restrooms.
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Mantra: Don’t be frightened by the faux-meditative opulence of the interior design or the bad music playing. This trendy Asian fusion joint located on 122nd South 18th Street at Rittenhouse Square features tantalizing and flavorful food and a mind-blowing drink selection featuring everything from saki to a relaxing South African tea for after dinner. For more, visit: http://www.mantraphilly.com/
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The Positano Coast: Located on the second floor of 212 Walnut Street across from the Ritz Five Theater, this contemporary Italian-American restaurant makes for a great before or after movie stop. While there are plentiful seafood selections along with classic Italian fare (check out their interesting spin on chicken parmesan) being served, the restaurant’s layout is designed to make you feel like you are dining on the coast of Amalfi, Italy. For more, visit: http://www.lambertis.com/locations/positano.htm
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GREAT SOUTH JERSEY RESTAURANTS:
Afraid of the big, bad city? Here are some of my favorite restaurants in my hometown of Voorhees, NJ and other South Jersey hot spots:
Laceno Italian Grill: Located in the Echelon Village Plaza off of White Horse Road in Voorhees, this looks just like another pizza joint in a strip mall from the outside. On the inside, it’s a cozy, beautifully appointed rustic villa-style restaurant serving authentic Northern Italian cuisine (along with gourmet-style pizzas). You won’t find all your old standards here, as the dishes are inventive and fresh. The food is nothing short of amazing, and this ranks as my favorite “hidden gem” in the Voorhees area. This is the perfect respite for those sick and tired of the Italian chain restaurants that over-populate the area. BYOB.
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** (added October 2008 ) Fieni’s Ristorante: Apparently this has been a staple of Voorhees for over a decade, but I didn’t discover it until a friend was visiting from out of town and I wanted to find an Italian place that would be new to both of us. Only New York City (and Italy itself) probably top South Jersey in terms of great Italian restaurants, and having a place like this within a mile radius of at least three other great Italian places makes you realize just how spoiled with riches we are here in Voorhees. Located on Burnt Mill Road not far from the Echelon Mall, Fieni’s looks curiously like a house on the outside (which is why I never took a chance on it before) and features parking behind the building (which makes it look desolate from the road) and an awkward entrance in front. Once inside, however, you’ll feel like you are dining in someone’s finely appointed living room. The cozy, classy atmosphere is matched by top-notch service and a Northern Italian menu (similar to Laceno’s but more extensive, minus the gourmet pizza options). The portions are hearty and the food is fantastic. Fieni’s is a great place for a date or a small group of friends to dine on gourmet Italian cuisine in a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. BYOB. For more, visit: http://www.fieni.com/
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** (added July 2008 ) Pasta Pomodoro: Located in Eagle Plaza on Rt. 561 (Haddonfield/Berlin Road) in Voorhees, this is another great escape from The Olive Garden. Compared to Laceno the menu here is slightly larger and more varied. You’ll find the old standards like chicken parm along with fresh and inventive items. It’s also slightly more reasonably priced and casual than Laceno, which makes this a great place for groups and families, while Laceno is better suited when you want to impress a special date. Over the years, I’ve never had a bad meal here. I highly recommend the Chicken Napoli, and the desserts are to die for. They also provide catering services. BYOB. For more visit: http://www.pastapomodoronj.com/
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Looking for something other than Italian? Check out these exotic options:
** (added January 2009 ) Ariana: The newest edition to the multi-ethnic Eagle Plaza in Voorhees is this sister location to the fine Afghan restaurant of the same name in Old City. The Philadelphia establishment was someplace I always wanted to try but never got around to it, so I was delighted when this one opened up just down the road from home-base. Featuring an array of spiced meats, kebobs, exotic rice and vegetarian dishes, Ariana offers up amazing and exquisitely flavored food. Menu items seem to be equally influenced by Greek and Indian cuisine, but the combinations of ingredients and spices are truly unique. My main course, the Norange Palow, was a mind-blowing concoction of delicately seasoned chicken served under saffron basmati rice topped with almonds, pistachios, and orange strips soaked in rosewater. There’s also plenty of spicier more adventurous fare that the chef will fix to your liking. The Turkish coffee and Afghani spin on baklava make for a great nightcap. The atmosphere is cozy and authentic in decoration and music, and the service is extremely friendly and attentive. Don’t go in expecting fast service as everything is made fresh and from scratch. Here you are truly their guests and they welcome you to a leisurely and relaxed experience. BYOB. Check out their menu and befriend Ariana on the ’space: Ariana on MySpace
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Bangkok City: You either like Thai food, or you don’t. Located in Eagle Plaza on Haddonfield/Berlin Road in Voorhees, this charming little establishment serves up great Thai food for dine-in and take-out. If you dine-in, the ginger ice cream is a great finish to a good meal.
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Coriander: Upscale contemporary bistro-style Indian cuisine is served at this trendy but casual cafe located in the Ritz Center off of Haddonfield/Berlin Road in Voorhees. The menu is extensive and daunting, so don’t be afraid to ask for more details or explanations of entries from the friendly staff. There are plenty of mild but still flavorful offerings for those afraid of traditional Indian spices. Voted best Indian Restaurant by South Jersey Magazine for 2007. BYOB. For more visit: http://www.coriandernj.com/
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**(Added December 2007) Chez Elena Wu: Located in the same plaza as Coriander and the Showcase at the Ritz Movie Theater in Voorhees, ingredients here are always fresh and in season at this unique fusion restaurant of French and Asian cuisine. Even the dishes that sound like traditional Chinese fare aren’t, as the chefs put an interesting spin on everything that is served. The combination of flavors might not be for everyone, but most will find this far superior to your typical upscale Chinese restaurants. Also featured is a world-class sushi bar. BYOB. For more, visit: http://www.chezelenawu.com/
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Great Places outside of Voorhees:
**(Added October 2007) : Caffe Aldo Lamberti is located on Route 70 is Cherry Hill, NJ across from the old Garden State Park grounds (now a vulgar over-developed mess of stores and lesser restaurants). I’ve dined here during the past two South Jersey Hot Chefs ”Farm to Fork” Restaurant Weeks. Here they serve up classic Italian fare in a beautiful setting. The main courses are succulent and full of flavor, the desserts moist and delicious, and the wine selection second to none in the area. The place has won numerous awards and it’s easy to see and taste why. Sneak in the back way coming off Haddonfield Road to avoid the unnecessary valet parking. For more, visit: http://www.lambertis.com/locations/caffe.htm
For more on South Jersey’s Restaurant Weeks, visit: http://sjhotchefs.com/restweek/index.html
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Also recommended: Braddock’s Tavern in historic downtown Medford, NJ is the suburban villager’s answer to Philadelphia’s City Tavern. Similar in style, service, and prices, this is wonderful for a romantic dinner or a family gathering. It’s a bit out of the way for people in my neck of the woods, but well worth the trip. Reservations are recommended but not required. For more, visit: http://www.braddocks.com/
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What’s your favorite Philly or South Jersey restaurant? Feel free to leave your dining suggestions through the comment form. Bon appetite!
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Written by David H. Schleicher
A Review of John Dahl’s “You Kill Me”
Dark Comedy Showcases Leoni’s Talents, 11 July 2007
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
“You Kill Me” is as dark a comedy as you can get. It may also be the first artistically successful romantic comedy noir. Directed by John Dahl (best known for his indie-noirs “Red Rock West” and “The Last Seduction” and the underrated killer trucker flick “Joyride”), the film depicts a hit man (Ben Kingsley-deep in character) forced into Alcoholics Anonymous by his “family” because his drinking has been affecting his ability to kill people. Shipped off to San Franscisco to start his 12 Steps, he picks up a part-time gig at a funeral home and meets a sassy single woman with “boundary issues” (Tea Leoni-hilarious) after her step-dad dies and proceeds to start an unconventional romance with her while struggling to stay on the wagon and learn how to kill again.
The film starts off very low key, and Dahl keeps such a consistently dark tone it’s hard to adjust to the cadence. As good as Kingsley is here, the show really belongs to Leoni. When she finally arrives on the scene, the film reaches a level of hilarity you weren’t expecting. Her facial expressions, comic timing, and interplay with Kingsley as she learns the truth about his past are pure gold. Leoni has had her fair share of commercial successes (“Bad Boys,” “Deep Impact,” “The Family Man”, and “Jurassic Park III”) but it’s in this type of offbeat low-budget comedy where she really shines. She was dynamite in “Flirting with Disaster” and was the best foil for Woody Allen since Diane Keaton in the otherwise forgettable “Hollywood Ending.” Here all her comic charms are on display, and she proves that at the age of 40, she is aging not only gracefully and naturally, but with all her sexiness and innate talents in tact.
While the film goes through the predictable motions in its final act, it’s the gooey goodness of the middle portion (especially one laugh-out-loud montage of Leoni helping Kingsley train for his return to “work”) that will leave a smile on your face, with Leoni’s luminosity as a comedic actress scorched into your mind.
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database
A Review of Michael Moore’s “Sicko”
Shining Light on America’s Health Care Crisis, 8 July 2007
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
In many ways, “Sicko” is Michael Moore’s most tightly focused film since “Roger & Me.” Recently he’s dealt with heady philosophical issues involving America’s obsession with guns and violence in “Bowling for Columbine” and then displayed the follies of the Bush Administration and the quagmire that is current geopolitics in “Farhenheit 9/11.” Here he turns his gaze to a single, tangible thing: America’s health care crisis.
Moore is up to his usual bag of tricks with his goofy pop-culture inspired propaganda, expertly combining heartfelt sentiment with big laughs in his anecdotal pieces, and essentially preaching to the choir. Informing us that insurance and pharmaceutical companies are vile profit driven machines who lobby hard in Washington and buyout politicians left and right isn’t exactly telling us something we didn’t already know. Scary still are the review board doctors working for the insurance companies who get paid big bonuses for denying the most claims, and saddest of all, the people who actually die from not getting their treatment. Moore, never shying from his political leanings, firmly points his finger at Nixon (whose policies paved the way for HMO’s), Reagan (who propagated the idea of socialized medicine as the first sign of Communist invasion), and Bush (who signed into law prescription drug bills that have crippled our senior citizens). He also suggests that Hillary Clinton, whose own health care plan was shot down by special interests back in the early 1990’s, is now on the same payroll after losing the good fight.
Moore really scores, though, when he starts globe hopping and shows us just how well socialized medicine works in countries like Canada, Great Britian, and France, and how much all of the people involved (doctors and patients) think it’s wonderful and that our system is absurd. The most telling anecdote is when he’s able to get a group of 9/11 heroes suffering from the debilitating effects of having worked at Ground Zero some much needed treatment in Cuba (of all places!) after they have been repeatedly denied by their insurance companies here in the States.
Other than marrying a Canadian or moving to one of these countries where health care is free to all, he offers no solid suggestions for how people who want to stay in America can fix the system other than to give this vague sense that “socialized medicine works.” He’s shed some light on the topic, and points us in the right direction, but isn’t willing to lead the way with any practical solutions.
Some of the most interesting points are made while in France, where the citizens enjoy free higher education, free health care, 35-hour work weeks, and government issued nannies. One of the Americans living now in France points out, “the people in France get all this because here the government is afraid of the people while in the States the people are afraid of the government.” Marie Antoinette, it seems, lost her head so the French could get free health care.
Funny, sobering, and frustrating, “Sicko” is a wake-up call for America to start their own revolution.
Message to Washington: Off with their heads!
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database:
The New Seven Wonders of the World
So apparently for the past few years they’ve been compiling a list of finalists and close to 100 million people from all over the world have been voting by internet and by phone to determine the New Seven Wonders of the World. I had no idea this “Architectural/Monument Idol” was going on, but found the results very interesting.
Of course, we all remember from our school days the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World: The Great Pyramid at Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Mausoleum at Halicarnarssus, the Colossus of Rhodes, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria.
Rightfully so, since it is the only survivor from the ancient list, the Pyramids at Giza get an automatic place on the new list, which includes now the following by popular demand: Brazil’s Statue of Christ the Redeemer, Peru’s Machu Pichu, Mexico’s Chichen Itza Pyramid, the Colosseum at Rome, Jordan’s Petra, India’s Taj Mahal, and the Great Wall of China.
All of those that made the list are undeniably deserving. However, it’s of interesting note that one finalist did not win a spot and was apparently heavily campaigned against: our very own Statue of Liberty. Rivaling the Colossus of Rhodes, it bears all the hallmarks of an ancient and modern wonder: symbolic, iconic, and physically impressive. The fact that it didn’t make the list indicates a very strong anti-American sentiment throughout the world (and most notably in Latin and South America, where Lady Liberty was rallied against and they managed to vote in three of their own wonders). Other notable snubs from the list of finalists include France’s Eiffel Tower, England’s Stonehenge and the Monuments of Easter Island.
The most interesting inclusion I found was Jordan’s ancient city of Petra, a fascinating place I know little about:
While the Pyramids at Giza and the Great Wall of China are arguably the most obvious no-brainers to make the list, the most deserving I feel is India’s Taj Mahal, which not only is the most aesthetically beautiful structure ever built by man, but also inspired Donald Trump to build one of my favorite casinos in Atlantic City:
*photos courtesy of MSN.com’s travel section.
Written by David H. Schleicher
A Review of Len Wiseman’s “Live Free or Die Hard”
Good Old-Fashioned Shattered Glass Action Flick, 6 July 2007
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
“Live Free or Die Hard” is quite a refreshing piece of entertainment this summer in the wake of so many effects-driven computer simulated action/fantasy films. With its silly title, smart-alleck lead character (Bruce Willis as Bruce Willis doing John McClane), and loads of old fashioned stunts involving cars, SUV’s, elevator shafts, big rigs, helicopters, fighter jets, and collapsing highway bridges, this flick is a great piece of shattered-glass entertainment–a throwback to the late 1980’s and early 1990’s when movies like the original “Die Hard” changed the face of movie action.
There is some frustration to be had when you start to realize how much they toned down to achieve the friendly PG-13 rating. There’s far less profanity flying, and while the body count is astronomically high (the collateral damage in this film in terms of human life and damaged property is tres magnifique), there’s little blood and guts to be found. Still, die hard “Die Hard” action fans should rest assured knowing there will be plenty of funny one-liners, hot chicks (a wonderful Maggie Q as the bad-ass female villain and the scorchingly feisty and cute Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Lucy McClane), super smart bad guys (a very good Timothy Olyphant), and jaw-dropping death-defying stunts.
Director Len Wiseman orchestrates the complicated stunts very well like a masterful puppeteer, which is a shock considering how god-awful his “Underworld” films were. The hand-to-hand human match-ups still bear some of his annoying hallmarks, but he’s learned how to blow things up really well and has learned a thing or two about scope and editing in big action set-pieces. The excellent pacing and preposterousness of the stunts (especially the climax involving the fighter jet and the big rig) certainly put a smile on my face.
There’s a whole lot of computer hacking related mumbo-jumbo involved in the story, and there’s a lot of downtime for male bonding and “explanation” of the finer plot points that slows the film down some but is actually nice to see in a world now ruled by Michael Bay-style non-stop action. Plenty dumb, plenty thrilling, and plenty of fun, “Live Free or Die Hard” is a pleasant surprise considering how unnecessary this sequel seemed from conception.
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database
The Unlucky Seven: The Worst Films of All Time
In response to last week’s list of the Best Films of All Time, I have decided to name the Worst Films of All Time.
Talking about the films you hate is sometimes even more subjective than talking about the films you love. I know that sometimes I carry a personal vendetta against certain directors or stars who have made me endure something horrible in the past. Also, there’s a difference between a bad film, and a BAD FILM. Everyone knows that an Ed Wood production, a video-game film adaptation from Uwe Boll, or the latest film staring Paul Walker is going to be laughably horrendous. It also seems that every month there’s another horror movie, comic-book adaptation, or romantic comedy that is shrieking and unwatchable. There are also those films that are so festering and bilious (Showgirls) or downright silly (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) that they actually become entertaining. The truly BAD FILMS are the ones where a considerable amount of talent, effort, or money went into the production and most of the people involved had the intention of making something worthwhile. Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Here, I, David H. Schleicher, present my
Unlucky Seven: The Worst Films of All Time:
7. They (2002, director: Robert Harmon). This contains the “bad movie” trifecta of hackneyed writing, inept direction, and god-awful acting. This moronic horror film really takes the cake, though, because it tries so hard to be a clever psychological thriller. Maybe it should have tried harder at not totally sucking.
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6. A History of Violence (2005, director: David Cronenberg). Seasoned auteur Cronenberg actually manages to un-direct (I think it maybe a film history first) this non-story about an Everyman whose small-town heroics uncover a very dark and violent past. There’s also an onslaught of over-acting that makes all the non-sense seem that much more non-chilling. Ultimately this is a non-film I completely non-cared for.
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5. In the Bedroom (2001, director: Todd Field). Similar to my feelings about the film at number 6, this film irks me a little bit more because it is so overtly artsy, and actually, quite well directed from a technical sense. The acting is also fairly solid. So how come the film rings so un-true and banal? They all tried too hard to make an unrealistic story seem gritty and compelling, and Field’s presentation of the material comes across as smug and arrogant. Never have I wanted to like a film so much and ended up hating it with every fiber of my body and soul once the credits rolled.
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4. 8MM (1999, director: Joel Schumacher). When he stopped making fairly decent film adaptations of John Grisham novels, Joel Schumacher began making some of the worst films of recent memory. This vile piece of trash is rotten to the core, demonically nihilistic, inhumane, and cynical for no other reason than to show the basest form of human behavior. Clueless Joel directed it like some average action-thriller/mystery. This is the only film in history where I seriously considered asking for my money back (alas, I have a fear of confrontation). Never has a film made me so angry.
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3. Armageddon (1998, director: Michael Bay). With his new corporate-sponsored toy-tie-in flick Transformers currently raping audiences at the multiplexes, I couldn’t leave a Michael Bay film off this list. For my money, he is the worst successful big-budget director of all time. This film is his masterpiece. It contains all the hallmarks that make Bay so awful: a bombastic sense of jingoism, an erotic military fetish, a perverted view of romance that sentimentalizes misogyny, special-effects and action sequences edited with a hack-saw that occur mostly out of frame, the inability to sustain a shot for more than ten or fifteen seconds, and slow-mo sequences that insult his audience and are used to remind us what’s important or who the hero is (as if his simplistic stories needed any further explanation). This film is often so loud and pointless (Bay has no sense of scope or of building suspense and is also apparently tone deaf both figuratively and literally) that I actually fell asleep during the middle stretch of this mind-numbingly stupid exercise in action adventure as machismo snuff.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0120591/
2. Signs (2002, director: M. Night Shyamalan). Shyamalan is a director who has never been able to get past the “glory” of his first big hit (and only decent film) The Sixth Sense. Here he uses an alien invasion as a vehicle for one man (Mel Gibson) to explore his faith. The McGuffin set-up is not scary, and the philosophical ponderings lurking underneath are juvenile, nonsensical, and inauthentic. Then, of course, there’s that twist, where character B finally realizes that character C died simply to so she could tell character B to “Swing Away.” This is the prime example of an overly-confident self-indulgent director performing cinematic masturbation while trying foolishly to recapture the magic of his only genuine artistic success. Somehow, this film was a monster hit.
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1. Moulin Rouge (2001, director: Baz Luhrmann). I’ve never been a fan of movie musicals, and this film has to be the worst of the lot. Loud, pompous, arbitrary, idiotically romantic, and overly stylish, Baz ”The Spazz” Luhrmann truly outdid himself with this piece of frilly, glossy trash. “Oh, the film is so lush and sumptuous! Look at the inventive camera work! Oh, I can’t take my eyes off the passion! Oh, how clever to use modern pop songs in a period piece!” There are people who LOVED every poisonous drop of this film. This movie is too dumb to even be considered cynical in its ploys. This is vapid, soulless, insipid cinematic trickery in its most pop-culture inspired and artistic form. For that reason, I consider it the worst film of all time.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0203009/
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Dishonorable Mentions:
These films surely would’ve snuck in had I been able to stomach a longer list:
Battlefield Earth, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, Catwoman, Chuck & Buck, The Green Mile, Howard the Duck, In the Cut, Interview with the Vampire, Jeepers Creepers 2, Patch Adams, Pay it Forward, Psycho (the 1998 remake), Raising Cain, Sliver.
Written by David H. Schleicher
